MINDING YOUR DOLL MANNERS

Consider this your etiquette guide to antique doll collecting today.
by Debra Gulea

Gone are the days where you had to really look for antique dolls, and you bought whatever you were lucky enough to find. Today fine-quality old dolls can be bought at doll shows, shops, country estate sales and big auction houses, through ads in doll magazines, and on the Internet. But how do you go about buying them? There is a lot more involved than just writing a check or pulling out your credit card. Here are some tips on what to do and not to do when buying dolls in the current marketplace. Our suggestions are designed to help you know what you're buying, get the best price, and make friends along the way.

Doll shows are a favorite place to buy and sell antique dolls. Collectors seem to like shows because they can meet a variety of doll dealers and view a huge selection of dolls for sale in one convenient location. The main attractions of shows are comparison-shopping and price checking. Let's say you're looking for a Bye-Lo. At a typical doll show, there will probably be at least two in the room, and maybe as many as ten. You can and should compare condition and price for several dolls, and also the terms offered by each dealer. For example, one dealer might have the prettiest Bye-Lo in the room and the best price as well, but if that dealer doesn't take credit cards and you and you need to pay with your Visa, you might be compelled to buy from someone else. (But to avoid this latter predicament, the best thing is to be sure to bring cash, your checkbook and two or three different credit cards. This way you can be sure to cover all the financial bases!)

A common mistake most collectors make is to ask one dealer if they should buy a doll from another dealer, or worse, if one dealer can inspect another dealer's doll to see if it is in good condition and being properly represented. The exchange typically goes something like this, "Hi, Dealer Darlene nice to see you today. Gosh, I have always loved your dolls, and you are just so honest and knowledgeable. I want to buy this Bye- Lo that your competitor Dealer Doris has for sale across the aisle, but I'm not sure if I can trust Doris. Is she reputable? Would you mind looking at the doll for me?"

This is a huge faux pas! First of all, Dealer Doris will feel hurt that you don't trust her or that you think Dealer Darlene is more knowledgeable. And second, Dealer Darlene will not want to get involved. Trust me on - this one. Darlene is busy trying to sell her own dolls, and also will not want to compromise Dealer Doris' sale. Doris and Darlene have been doing the same shows together for years. If examines Doris' doll and Darlene, finds a damage that Doris didn't know about, and you don't buy Doris' doll because of that, well, things are going to be pretty icy between Doris and Darlene from here on out. I usually use my department store analogy for this one-If you see a great sweater on sale at Sears, you would never think of leaving the store with the sweater and bringing it over to the sales clerk at J.C. Penney's to ask her if you; should buy from Sears. People just do not carry unpaid merchandise from store to store in the mall, and you shouldn't do so at a doll show either. Each booth at a doll show is that dealer's store, and you shouldn't walk around with merchandise from one store to another, soliciting opinions as you go.

This is what you should do instead. You really love that Bye-Lo that Dealer Doris has for sale, the price is right, and she'll take your Visa card. However, since you are still not sure if you should buy it, you should politely ask Dealer Doris a series of questions. Request that she undress the doll for you and show you how to check the head for damages; inquire as to how long she's been selling and how the particular Bye-Lo compares to other Bye-Los she's sold in the past. Ask her if she will guaranty in writing the condition of the doll upon purchase. If you're satisfied with her answers, go ahead and buy the doll. If you are at all uncomfortable with what she tells you, walk away. And then take a second look at all of the other Bye-Los in the room. Eventually you are bound to find the right doll, with the right price, from the right person.

Another big "don't" is what I call "dissin' the doll." For those of you not familiar with today's slang, dissin' means disrespect. Some collectors like to bargain with the dealer about the price of a doll by stressing all of the things wrong with the doll. This occurs everywhere dolls are sold, and goes something like this: "The body is terrible, the dress is new, and there's a big crack on the middle of the face. How about I give you $500 less?"

Whenever someone is so negative about a doll, I always wonder, "Then why do you want to buy it in the first place?" It is obvious that the prospective buyer likes something about the doll because if she didn't, there would be no interest in buying it. Reciting a long list of imperfections in an attempt to get a lower price will accomplish nothing aside from wasting the dealer's time since she or he has most likely already taken the doll's defect into consideration when arriving at the asking price. This in no way means that you should not negotiate at all. Just keep the process reasonable and polite. Start off by introducing yourself and telling the dealer how much you love the doll. This will put the dealer into a good mood. Then, ask the dealer what is his or her "best price," or - my favorite - what the "friendliest price" is. The dealer will most likely quote you ten percent off the tagged price. If this is not good enough for you, resist the temptation to haggle with the dealer into going lower. Don't tell him or her that the merchandise is over-priced. Don't tell a friend to approach the dealer and try to convince the dealer to sell to you at that price (as crazy as it sounds, this happened to me once, and I am still shaking my head about it). I have known of a few frustrated dealers who, when pressured like that, will say "You know what, the doll is no longer for sale. I've decided to keep it." And at that point, you and the dealer both lose.

It is, however, totally acceptable to counteroffer the dealer's "best price" by asking, "Would you consider taking" and then naming your price. If you take this route, be fore-warned that the dealer might still tell you "Sorry, but that's as low as I can go." Some times a generous dealer will dealer will come down $50 on the price. With a little practice, you can figure out all the codes and you won't have - to bother with this silly little dance. say, "Let's meet in the middle" and that is a wonderful compromise. If you really want the dealer to take your price, you can sweeten the deal by proposing to buy more than one doll or suggesting that you'll pay cash. If you buy very frequently from a particular dealer, that person will extend you the special courtesy of automatically offering you slightly better prices than the general public.

If you shy away from the entire negotiation process and its sometimes complex rituals, learn how to read the codes on dealer price tags. Most of them are quite easy to figure out, and have a number that has something like"DD50" hidden inside of it, which means "dealer discount $50" or that the dealer will come down $50 on the price. With a little practice, you can figure out all the codes and you won't have to bother with this silly little dance.

Auctions are another popular place to buy dolls today. I have two big pet peeves about buying dolls at auction. And let me say first, this is a critique not of auction houses, which are wonderful sources for good antique dolls, but of some of the other bidders. My first complaint is people who try to intimidate other people out of bidding - against them. I once heard one person say to another "You might as well go probably - home because I'm bidding on that doll, and I'm going to get it." What a terrible thing to say! I have always felt that auction houses should be like libraries - keep to yourself, and if you have to speak, keep it to a polite whisper. Decide on your own what you're there to bid on, bid as high as you can, and if you lose out, congratulate winner and go home quietly. If you do win, resist the urge to gloat about it. Just pay for the doll, tuck it in your shopping bag, and leave the little victory dance for the privacy of your own home.

Other people also try to "make deals" with other bidders at an auction. This consists of saying to a friend "I won't bid on the Shirley Temple if you don't bid on the Dionne Quints." While this might seem harmless, it's called price fixing, and it is illegal in most states.

My other auction pet peeve is rough handling of the dolls. Most auction houses won't object to you inspecting the doll, and of course you want to look at it before you bid, but please use a gentle touch and ask for assistance. There is nothing worse I than a prospective bidder who carelessly rips the wig off the head of a doll or leaves the clothing in disarray. These, dolls have been around for 100 years, and we need to do everything we can to keep them around for 100 more.

The Internet is the new place to buy dolls and dealers who use it to sell receive dozens of emails asking questions about the advertised dolls. Sometimes the questions are simple, such as "are the clothes original?" A question like that can be answered in two seconds. Unfortunately, most of the time, the questions require a fair amount of research to answer, and dealers may spend hours consulting books to get their facts right. Another common request is for additional pictures, which also takes time and work. So when someone goes to consider able trouble to answer your questions and provide additional pictures, please take a moment to send off a quick note of thanks. It's also a nice touch to sign your first name on all email correspondence. After all, it's much nicer and more personal to get a message from Sally or Jane, than it is from "dollbuyer9078."

Some might wonder why they should bother with all of these dos and don'ts of collecting. Basically, there are three good reasons. First, because a happy seller is going to give you a better deal, let you do longer layaways, call you up when he or she has just acquired a doll you're sure to want, and in general help you to get the doll you desire for the price you want to pay. Even better - and this is reason number two-you might make some life-long friends along the way, getting to know people so dear that someday the fact that you both collect dolls is just a trivial detail, part of the bigger story of how you met. The third reason is plain old good karma. Doll buying is a sport, and if you use good form, the universe will align in just the right way to bring the best dolls into your lap for prices you can afford and from people you truly care about.

The most important thing to keep in mind about collecting is that it is a verbal process, a journey towards accumulating. It isn't as much about the acquisitions as it is about the process of how you acquire them. And how you do it, how you collect, all the stories that accompany each doll you buy are what make each one precious to you. When you are old and gray and sharing your collection with a roomful of admirers someday, you want to be sharing the story about that special dealer you met decades ago that became your mentor and always saved the very best dolls for you. It's a much better tale than recounting the story of how you begged, borrowed or stole to get the doll! And chances are that the doll you bought from a friend will always be more precious to you than one you "beat some- down in the price" in order to buy. I'm frequently asked what I consider to be the best part about being a doll dealer. Almost everyone assumes that it is being able to own so many rare and wonderful dolls. Although my inventory of dolls unquestionably brings me pleasure, I do not buy and sell dolls merely to possess them. The reason I am a doll dealer is because the wonderful, passionate and generous collectors that I have met around the world and because of the stories they tell me. One customer, now a friend with whom I annually exchange Christmas cards, shared how her dolls helped her get through her husband's losing battle with Alzheimer's. When things get bad, she makes herself a cup of hot tea, sits in her doll room and scans the faces of her dear dolls, thinking about the friends in her doll club and all of the wonderful doll conventions she's attended with her husband and friends over the years. Her dolls and the stories they told, stories of how they came to her, of how she found them and bought them, and of the friends she made in the doll world along the way, are what carry her through this trying time in her life. My friend has discovered one of the fundamental secrets that every to true collector knows-it is not just the dolls that matter; the people you meet along the way while collecting those dolls are equally valuable.

This article by Debra Gulea was originally published in the August 2003 issue of DOLLS magazine, in Debra's former "Talking About Antiques" column, and is reprinted here with permission.

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